Newcastle Utd – An Emotional Cripple

Needle, dropper, spoon. After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Newcastle have fallen off the wagon in spectacular fashion. The euphoria displayed on Tyneside following Keegan’s appointment as Manager is as predictable as it is tragic. After years of disappointment, failing to better themselves, Newcastle have taken the easy option – a pure hit of nostalgia and self-indulgence, bringing with it the deluded belief that the good times are just round the corner.

While the black & white contingent of the North East celebrates, the rest of the Country shakes its head and realises just why Newcastle’s lack of success is no mystery at all. With this appointment, Newcastle have conceded defeat. They’ve settled for second best. They’ve stated their lack of ambition and given up on being a Champions League team. Like a sad drunk who props up the bar and bemoans their lot in life, they’ve chosen to find solace at the bottom of another pint, rather than making the tough decisions and taking the tough action required to turn themselves around.

Keegan was a breath of fresh air when he returned to the North East in 1992 for his first stint as manager. Even the most sceptical football fan will be welcoming his re-emergence, if only for the honesty and passion he’ll bring to a Premier League dominated by suits and chequebooks. Virtually every neutral in the country was willing them to pip Manchester Utd to the Premiership in 1996, the year Keegan’s limitations were so crudely exposed by his side’s capitulation when silverware loomed near. Like bitter drunks with rose tinted specs, the Geordie faithful talk wistfully of ‘unfinished business’ and ‘points to prove’. They crave for and talk up the prospect of a glorious resolution to Keegans tumultuous managerial career. What they’re likely to get is a car crash to surpass all others.

Newcastle will climb the league table with some gusto before this season draws to a close. They’ll play entertaining football which at times will enthral the fans. With the right signings before February there’s even the outside chance of UEFA Cup qualification. But this will prove nothing. It will be no more than the buzz a junkie feels, when they trade a difficult path for a familiar and warm narcotic hit. The sad fact is that their problems will remain. Unresolved, those problems are the guarantee of a depressing plummet back to earth in the near future.

A lot has changed in the years since Keegan walked out on those closest to his heart. The world has moved on while Newcastle has regressed and wallowed in self pity and remorse. The Premier League is a more refined beast than that of the mid-nineties. The Messiah’s intoxicating brand of football fell short in 1996, the notion it may prove successful in 2008 is demented. Continued failure at the sharp end of European football precipitated an influx of foreign technicians to our top managerial posts. Though the Premiership is still an apprentice to some more tactically contested leagues on the continent, the progress English clubs are making can be seen by their strong presence in latter stages of European competition. Ferguson aside, we are talking about the achievements of Benitez, Houllier, Wenger, Mourinho, to a degree even Ranieri. There are English managers who have deserved a chance to prove they can compete in this age, managers who could rightly feel aggrieved at not landing a club with which to demonstrate their prowess at the highest level. Keegan is not one of them. Had Newcastle not come calling it’s hard to imagine another Premiership team appointing him, another team so desperate and emotional that they’d appoint a man who is both a proven failure and a proven bottler. A man so unreliable he could walk at any time.

But that’s what makes the marriage of Keegan and Newcastle so perfect yet so tragic. Keegan can’t control his emotions. Alan Shearer is still none the wiser as to why he walked out on him. England got an explanation but a trip up shit creek, with another qualification match just four days away. By the time he pitched up at Maine Road, Keegan was a tired shell of his former self, his failings and limitations ever more exposed when he couldn’t propel himself with a genuine love for the cause. But just like the Newcastle fans that idolise him, Keegan’s heart strings are so easily pulled. He too will ignore the warnings of the past to take succour in the comfort of passion and love. But in 2008 the stakes are much higher. With the resources he’ll undoubtedly receive, the expectation of a happy ending will be greater than ever. But Keegan will find himself in an environment tougher than any he’s tried to excel in so far – and only fans so similarly volatile and emotional could believe he’s in any way better equiped to deal with it this time. When they finally wake from their stupor, Newcastle fans should brace themselves for the inevitable crash and parting of ways.

Tags: Alan Shearer, Football, Kevin Keegan, Mike Ashley, Newcastle, Newcastle Utd, Premier League, Soccer